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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
smol-gryffindor
dragonpuppies

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Look yonder! Someone has writ upon that ceiling that thou art most easily gulled!

Elizabethan Peasant 2: More fool they, for I cannot read.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: *sighing, lowers his visage unto his palm*

amityravenclawelf

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Lo, hast thou learned to read?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: Verily, and to compose as well.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: With haste, then, how is the word “i cup” composed?

hi-def-doritos

Elizabethan Peasant 1: what ho, I know a sporting jest! What art thou when thou art a peasant and art occupied in a privy?

Elizabethan Peasant 2: I wist not, but certain am I that thou shalt tell me speedily.

Elizabethan Peasant 1: Most verily, thou art a peon.

little-niggah-sugar

Elizabethan Child: Father, I have not yet broken fast and am filled with pangs of hunger.

Elizabethan Father: Hail, Filled With Pangs Of Hunger! Mine own name is Wybert.

marzipanandminutiae

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Alack, I have in my purse but sixty-nine pence.

Elizabethan Scholar 2: Lusty fellow, knowst thou well what such a sum portends!

Elizabethan Scholar 1: I…I have not sufficient to sup on fowl.

ur-friendly-local-memer

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Mine name is verily Micheal with a ‘b’, and I hast been afraid of insects mine entire life.

Elizabethan Scholar 2: Cease cease cease. Wither is the bee?

Elizabethan Scholar 1: Thither is a bee?

Source: dragonpuppies i'm dying this is so funny memes funny me and queue
knightic
deeperforme:
“ garrettbrobinson:
“ pippinforthewin:
“ solikerez:
“ marsdaydream:
“ drinkmasturbatecry:
“ nudityandnerdery:
“ the-fandoms-are-valentines:
“ grandtheftautosanandreas:
“ Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe...
grandtheftautosanandreas

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

the-fandoms-are-valentines

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

nudityandnerdery

And, of course:

“The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

drinkmasturbatecry

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

marsdaydream

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.

solikerez

I FUCKING LOVE DOUGLAS ADAMS, HITCHHIKER’S GUIDE TO THE GALAXY IS LIKE MY FAVORITE THING

pippinforthewin

I can’t believe you guys are forgetting: 

“He was experiencing the aural equivalent of looking at a picture of two black silhouetted faces and suddenly seeing it as a picture of a white candlestick.”

garrettbrobinson

My personal favorite Douglas Adams quote is not from a book at all, but about writing itself. 

“I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”

#relatable

deeperforme

“Drinking a pan galactic gargleblaster was like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick.”

Source: kingwizardandthelizardgizzard writing quotes metaphors i love this douglas adams is one of my favorites for this very reason
ceslatoil

YA’LL….

krxs100

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Mainstream Media Now Openly Reporting on the Elite Lining Up to Ingest the Blood of Children…. Seriously

Once the talk of conspiracy theorists — the rich ingesting the blood of the young to foster longevity — is now a reality and an actual business in the United States. Not only is it a business but billionaires are actually admitting their interest in it. Now, even the mainstream media is reporting it.

Peter Thiel, the billionaire co-founder of PayPal and adviser to Donald Trump told Inc. magazine:

“I’m looking into parabiosis stuff, which I think is really interesting. This is where they did the young blood into older mice and they found that had a massive rejuvenating effect. I think there are a lot of these things that have been strangely under-explored.”

As Vanity Fair reports, Ambrosia, which buys its blood from blood banks, now has about 100 paying customers. Some are Silicon Valley technologists, like Thiel, though Karmazin stressed that tech types aren’t Ambrosia’s only clients and that anyone over 35 is eligible for its transfusions.

Aside from the gruesome historical and occult background of such practices, there is literally NO DATA that suggests the process even works.

“There‘s just no clinical evidence [that the treatment will be beneficial], and you‘re basically abusing people‘s trust and the public excitement around this,” Stanford University neuroscientist Tony Wyss-Coray, who conducted a 2014 study of young blood plasma in mice, told Science magazinelast summer, as reported by Vanity Fair. 

#STAYWOKE

transyasha

HISTORY REPEATS HISTORY REPEATS HISTORY REPEATS

helloitsbees

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toshkakoshka

@42wallaby-way-sydney

Source: krxs100 history repeats itself and humans are fucking awful surprising no one blood death me and queue this is horrible